Saturday, February 16, 2008

Staying self-motivated

Staying self-motivated is a challenge for many; requiring decisions and action to sustain momentum and when people feel stuck, they feel stressed, frustrated and angry (often at themselves!) because they are not where they want to be in their business or personal life. You might wonder how people can lose steam in moving forward on an idea they were initially enthusiastic and pumped about.

There are 5 key reasons people get stuck, they are:

1. Lack clarity about what they want. Inability to articulate and describe it.

Have you ever found it difficult to put into words what you really want? Have you seriously thought about what you really want? Do you have a sense of what you want, but lack the words to fully describe it? Trying to figure out the “it”?

Tip: You might be stuck because you lack a strong desire for what you say you want. Put your attention on what you really want rather than what you think you should want. Create a picture of what you want your life to look like - write it as a story, paint a picture, create a vision board or collage to capture your heart. Reflect back over your life when you were the happiest for clues. What excites you and evokes your passion? What are your core values?

2. Negative inner thoughts.

Self-talk (the things we tell ourselves inside our heads) has a powerfull impact on our ability to assess situations realistically. So often when people get caught up in anticipating what may or may not happen, they lose perspective. Our minds can sift through facts and information that lead to practical choices of action, or scare, confuse and overwhelm us so that we come to a full stop. Fear and negative thinking are two HUGE reasons so many people get stuck or confused.

Tip: Begin to observe your self talk and identify which ones are supportive or unsupportive. Actively begin to challenge your thinking so that you can separate the “stories you imagine” and the reality (facts) of “what is.” Changing beliefs is a process that takes time and is more successful with professional help.

3. Disconnection from heart and spirit.

You lack trust in yourself, the experience, or God (whatever you call your spiritual connections). Do you ever get a gut feeling or strong sense inside about what decision is right for you? Do you follow your gut or override your instincts? If you have followed your heart in the past, how did things turn out?

Tip: Practice meditation regularly to quiet the mind and go within to reconnect with your spirit. Pay attention to your gut instinct; the sensations or inner knowing you sense at different times. If you’ve followed your instincts in the past, write down what happened. They are usually great success stories to remember. If you’re first developing your “trust muscle”, look for opportunities to listen and follow your gut. Be open and flexible to what happens next.

4. Too many options become overwhelming and confusing.

It’s great to have a myriad of choices, isn’t it? Having so many options can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, having many choices expands the possibilities. On the other, having too many options may not only cause confusion (What do I choose?); it also allows self-doubt and distrust to creep in.

Tip: Look back over your answer to #1 for clarity and focus. Ask yourself if the options move you toward what you desire or away.

5. Other people’s opinions.

We can be enormously influenced by the opinions of others. Feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or having low self-esteem and low self-confidence makes people more susceptible to the influence of others. In that way, people give away their power. Inner conflict and fear can cause procrastination and self-sabotage.

Tip: Be selective about your circle of friends, colleagues, and networking community. If family influence is a negative, choose to share less and set boundaries on conversations. Surrounding yourself with people who lift your spirits and bring out your best will keep you moving forward.

One last tip:

Write up a list of actions you will take when you find yourself getting stuck. You might call it your “Breaking Free Formula.” View this list as a living document that continues to grow so that it becomes an empowering resource for you in any situation. Include people, things and activities that energize, nurture, and boost you – body, mind, and spirit. Keep this list visible in your home and office.

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